She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize