Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
