I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
barbara walters just said penis...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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