Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
