But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm just crazy horny about you
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
