haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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