why didn't you poke me back
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
