You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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