if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
How does one acquire holy water?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
