i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
