I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
