I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
