When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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