Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
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That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
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Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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