don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
