Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
