in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize