There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my shit smells like andre
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
