If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
