Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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