You're my little dorito
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
