she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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