Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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