sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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