That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
