North Korea, Best Korea!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
