Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
