My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
