one might say we're banned from that church
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
