***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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