I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
His hands were made for my vagina.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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