Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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