She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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