I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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