I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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