In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You have to summon your inner elephant
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize