FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
