recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize