Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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