there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
40s are totally the cure
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
