You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
