I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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