He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Bring me that man meat
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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