Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
