"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
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She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
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At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He? As in you personified your dick?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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