we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize