dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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