i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
