You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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