The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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