In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
