i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
