Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
