drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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