my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
