Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
