Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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