Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Congratulations! We have a period
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
