piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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