the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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