Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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